A very good friend has just turned 32. She said, instead of
presents, she wanted us all to teach her something. She said at 32 she had gaps
in her range of skills including cooking fluffy rice, changing a car tyre and
sewing a zip. She always has very good ideas this friend. I told her I wasn't
much chop at anything practical like that and she said I was off the hook
because she had learned things from Beaut Commute (blush). She just asked me to
do another post. So, Cass, this one's for you. Mary's guide to tyre changingness 1. Pull over
somewhere safe 2. Put hazard
lights on. 3. Observe
flat tyre, give it small kick and cuss. 4. Do slanty
look to see if anyone handy looking has noticed your predicament. 5. If so,
smile, catch their eye and say 'Don't 'spose you could tell me how to change a
tyre?" and then stand back and make grateful noises as they do it for you. 6. If no-one
handy is around, sigh and open boot and take out jack and wheel brace 7. Find small
groove near wheel - this is where the jack goes. 8. Once jack
is in place slowly wind it up so that the car weight is off the tyre. 9. Loosen the
nuts with the wheel brace. (I could tell you how but common sense often kicks
in when you hold a brace and aim towards a nut. Read into that what you will.) 10. Take wheel off and roll it safely out
of the way. 11. Get spare tyre out of boot and put it
on. 12. Tighten nuts and lower jack. 13. Stand back, imagine you are sticking a
beer gut out, nod your head a couple of times and say 'Yep. That should do it'. 14. Do slanty look to see if anyone has
admired how such a stylish woman (despite beer gut) has effortlessly changed a
car tyre. Mary's guide to sewing a zip I can't sew. Our sewing teacher in Form 2 smelt like a pickled gin
sponge. In one class I sneezed and she fell off her stool and hurt her
hip. From then on she made me sit out by the flagpole for every class. I never
even finished my banana bag. So, this is how I sew a zip: 1. Ask my
good friend Sar to do it for me in return for dinner or 2. Use this
as an opportunity to visit one of the glorious old fashioned Italian
tailor and haberdashery businesses scattered around Not quite this practical, but none-the-less still
interesting is the Stuff you should know podcast
distributed by the 'How stuff works' website. Free on iTunes.
There you go. Who would have thought a lesbian knew anything about tight nuts.
Posted by: Beaut Commute | 02/26/2010 at 09:07 PM
I'm reluctant to say this...there's a little nifty and important trick when changing a tyre. Loosen nuts s little before you raise the car, then tighten them fully once you've lowered the car again. Don't ask me why, it's just what you're meant to do apparently. Trust me, I'm a lesbian. I KNOW how to change a tyre.
Posted by: Maria | 02/26/2010 at 08:51 PM
I deny throwing out anything yellow. Mum
Posted by: Mum | 02/23/2010 at 08:59 PM
True - we got the canvas from Brook bros. But False on finishing the bag. Mine was yellow and lay around my room, unfinished with vivid markings and pins until Mum finally threw it out.
Posted by: Beaut Commute | 02/23/2010 at 09:17 AM
Parker, I've got a sneaking hunch that you did actually finishb that bag!!! Huia could probably tell you the date you finished it! Mine was lavender. I'll remember what colour yours was soon, sure we biked to brooks bros saddlery together to by canvas!
Posted by: Sarah | 02/22/2010 at 07:08 PM